An Unexpected Self Love Mantra
This season, self love has sounded a lot like “I have everything I need.” This mantra has served as my reminder that I likely don’t “need” more stuff no matter how frequently I feel the urge. And after a restless year of searching for more, it has become the affirmation that forces me to first look within myself for solutions to life’s problems. So if lack mentality has sunk her icy claws into you particularly deeply this winter, I suggest you keep reading.
Let me back up a bit for those of you who want a bit of a life update. I’m back in Pittsburgh!
In October of last year, I took a 10 day trip around Spain with 9 other solo travelers. While I saw a Flamenco show that made me cry, stood in awe inside Gaudi’s La Sagrada Familia, biked through the streets of Madrid without getting hit by a bus, and ate the best foie gras I’ve ever tasted, the trip was overall a bit of a let down. Which I should’ve expected given my hope that the trip would be lead me to meet the man of my dreams, persuade me to move to Europe and start my life over as a nomad. I have a Sagittarius moon and grew up on Disney movies, sue me.
When I returned, full of disappointment and void of a place of my own, the next few months were… rough. I spent the better part of October and November between my parent’s guest room, AirBnbs and dating app duds. I felt like I was in the bottom of a hole that I didn’t even have the energy to dig myself out of. Then my best friend called me. After many tearful hours unleashing my frustration, loneliness and lack of direction on her, she asked me a simple question.
“Can I tell you what I think?”
When I handed over my permission, she told me that I was clearly frustrated and couldn’t keep doing my life the same way I had before. But that I shouldn’t try and change it all at once. My inner critic has an annoying tendency of putting me on impossible life timelines and Shelby knows this. She told me I needed a place of my own: real space to figure out the changes I wanted to make. Piece by piece, not all at once. Relief flooded through my body. All I needed to do was find a place of my own, then the rest would follow. One piece at a time.
That’s when my higher self started digging me out of the rut and making me look at apartments around Pittsburgh. Looking back now, I know she already had the mantra prepared but was waiting for the right time to tell me.
In November I took a trip to California to spend time resting and dreaming with my friend, client and colleague Gillian. On that trip that I had finally surrendered to where my life was and allowed myself to be supported. Within a matter of days, I got approved for my dream apartment. I moved into the new place in a whirlwind and quickly flew across the pond for a quiet Christmas adventure with my stepmom. It was lovely, in case you were wondering. Christmas markets and the Thermal Spa in Bath are MUSTS for anyone who loved the movie The Holiday.
After returning to the States, I was ready for stillness. My inner adventurer was ready to rest and she was tired of looking outside herself for validation that she was enough. My inner critic had other feelings. She got particularly loud about money and my lack of direction in business, which was wildly helpful to hear especially around the holidays.
My higher self took her cue.
As I was wrapping Christmas gifts, searching for gift tags I know I didn’t have, a little voice popped in my head and stated, “you have everything you need.” Alexandra (my higher self) loves to plant these really cryptic seeds of wisdom and then ghost my brain. She knew that with that whisper, the door that stores my magic would crack ever so slightly open. I sat with the statement for a second and thought to myself, ‘I guess I could use parts of a paper shopping bag for gift tags instead of buying them.’ A simple, yet creative thought and suddenly I had saved myself $5. With quiet satisfaction, Alexandra smiled.
Throughout the next few weeks, I found myself repeating the mantra anytime I was stressed or had the urge to look outside myself for a solution. And suddenly, answers starting popping up right and left. And not just any answers, aligned ones. Ones that would rebuild the foundation for the changes I wanted to make.
Here’s what this mantra has brought me:
A healthier stomach: Instead of spending money on takeout and crappy yet convenient snacks, I trusted that I had access to the groceries I needed at the right prices. BOOM, I’ve now cooked incredible meals for myself for over a month that have made my digestion issues all but disappear.
Free movement and fresh air: Instead of driving everywhere and spending more money on gas, I trusted that the location of my new apartment would provide what I needed in this season. DING, I joined a new co-working space and yoga studio that are both within walking distance of my place.
Dream furniture on my budget: Instead of buying expensive new furniture to fill my apartment, I trusted that I had the money I needed to buy the furniture I wanted. POOF, appeared 2 perfectly “Alex” pink victorian arm chairs that I thrifted for $43 TOTAL, and the exact IKEA bookshelf I wanted $70 off and already built.
Community and direction in my business: Instead of trying to come up with a business direction and strategy by myself, I trusted that I already had the resources I needed in my community to provide help. BAM, I now have a new Chief Marketing Officer and bookkeeper in fellow trusted business owners and favorite clients of mine Angelica and Katrina.
I have yet to pull myself entirely out of my rut, but now I can feel solid ground. Because I know, when I trust myself, I have everything I need.
And I know you do too. You’re made of the very stuff you need to get through whatever life has in store for you. You’re surrounded by the people and the resources you need to handle life’s trials. You might just need encouragement to get a little creative.
And when it comes to your style, you have me. Who has way more style knowledge than I can keep to myself.
If you need it, Alexandra is whispering this affirmation to your higher self, asking her to shift her mindset into a bit more of an abundant one. In case it’s too hard to hear, I’ve created a fun way to prove this affirmation true for you and the rest of my community! If you’re curious, check out the details here.
If you need to store this mantra for a different season, know that it’s here for you. But, for today at least, know that “you have everything you need.”
